I was reading Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s endorsement of Hillary in the Washington Post. You know Kareem, right? Used to be Lew Alcindor, went to UCLA, changed his name, played for the Lakers, totally funny as a pilot in the movie Airplane! Lately he sees himself as an authority on what Real Islam is, and now he wants us to know who he thinks should be President of the United States. That guy.
It was not a terrible read at first. He compares those who he claims use scare tactics to get people to vote for someone to “some sadistic camp counselor telling horror stories at bedtime with a flashlight under his chin.” Ok, nice use of imagery. He writes about being “frustrated and angry at hearing about frustration and anger.” Not bad. But when I got to “…some legislators ignore the experts, such as the international community of scientists who have studied and confirmed global warming…” it hurt my eyes. He lost me right there.
Thing is, it didn’t have to be that way. No. Had Kareem simply replaced “global warming,” with, say… “Mickey Mouse,” the piece would have continued to be readable and nothing of importance would have been sacrificed!
In fact, as it turns out, “Mickey Mouse” may be substituted for “global warming” in anything you read, with no loss of substance! Try it. It’s fun: Some legislators ignore the experts, such as the international community of scientists who have studied and confirmed Mickey Mouse. President Obama meets with world leaders to discuss Mickey Mouse. Energy Secretary Moniz says the global momentum to tackle Mickey Mouse has never been stronger. And so on. Thus is a bogus, politically motivated, quasi-scientific construct replaced by a funny cartoon character.
Yes, I am a genius.